Once at the Club

Everyone loves a nice dance right?

Whether it be tango, jazz, hip-hop, or the what the kids call, “stanky leg”.

I can’t believe that somehow someone made that name up for that dance move. You stick your leg out and shake it as if it stinks? And by moving in this motion, you’re trying to air out your leg?

What did you manage to do make your leg stink? That’s horrible.

I can’t imagine a lot of people doing that all at once in the club. Do the “Stanky Leg”! And all it looks like are a bunch of shaking legs sticking out as if someone ripped one at the club.

Anyone ever been to a club? First time I been to a club I had the time of my life. THE TIME OF MY LIFE!

I loved it so much I yearned for it like a drug after leaving. I wanted to go again so badly! Clubs are pretty fun, if you’re drunk. The only problem is, not everyone will be drunk, especially not as drunk as me…and if you could imagine, that’s a problem.

You see, I’m there to purely have fun, even if it’s by myself. Unfortunately, shamefulness doesn’t quite resonate with me under the influence of alcohol (surprise surprise). Let’s just say, almost everyone I’ve gone to the club with never went back with me again, except for my other shameless drunk roommate.

I don’t understand why I can’t dance like a stripper at the club and be considered one of the gay guys. What’s wrong with body rolling? Is it a crime that I love dancing as sexually as I can in the corner of the room? I gotta get the jitterbug out of me! Like, I literally think I have a problem, some people have a strange addiction to running, I just have an addiction to sexual dancing by myself!

All jokes aside, I think dancing is fun – but I won’t do it excessively like I did in the club ever again. Nothing against gay guys, but I had one chase me around the club once. I felt sexually harassed, to say the least, and at that moment I knew how it felt to be a victim.

No more smiling and touching guys’ shoulders while dancing.


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